It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
