And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
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There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
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I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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