She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
