you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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