the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
