I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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