someone threw a dead crab at me
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm always down for nudity.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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