"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
