That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
