Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
