I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
