Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize