How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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