how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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