Plan B is the new Plan A
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
