just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
