Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My ass is underappreciated
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
