I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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