I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
