i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize