I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
