is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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