Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
