so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
