If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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