Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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