im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize