What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
