If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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