whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
