Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
