Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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