Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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