What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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