She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
