he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Randomize
