I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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