we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
