They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
