Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
My balls are so social today.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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