Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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