used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
