Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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