I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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