he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
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You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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