I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
