Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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