Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I skipped work to stalk him.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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