Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
