i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
