I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
PANTIES FOUND
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