i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
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While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I want her autograph on my taint
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
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I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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