it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize