why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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