i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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