why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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