If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
