I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
