margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
