I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Found the puke drawer
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
