I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
