Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
